With this in mind, I decided that adjustments are needed to be made to prevent my head from exploding. I tried to identify the sources of most stress in my life and change, or preferably, eliminate them. This required one grown-up decision, in particular, that was heart breaking. I had to give up our labs. It's ok if you hate me. I have already received those emotions from my children. And I'm not completely heartless - I spent a good three to four hours crying last Saturday as I drove to my sister's, dropped them off, and drove back home. Then I cried some more after church on Sunday. Of course, Father White's homily was very apropeaux as usual : Tough Love. It really was one of the hardest decisions I have had to make. A mix of loss, grief, guilt, with relief of both putting them in an environment where they would be better off (they were alone in their prison 10 hours everyday), and of having two less children to contend with everyday. Throw in some major self doubt about decision-making for having gotten them in the first place (cut me a little slack, I tell myself - I was working part-time then) with confidence that I made the right decision now. Confused? I was.
1. Get rid of things that add work to your day but don't give you benefit, even if that is a terribly hard decision - like the pups
2. Make lunches in advance
3. Make laundry easier by not folding, washing in mesh bags
4. Premade dinners
I move forward optimistic that the next three months will be better. I will have more free time and less stress. My head won't explode after all. Hopefully, the lack of drama won't make me so uninspired that I will get writer's block.