1. Make sure you get everything ready for the morning, the night before to assure a fast getaway. This includes lunches, backpacks, whatever else you feel you might need in the morning.
2. Clean up the areas you will need to do your get-out-the-door-on-time-to-not-run-after-the-bus-again operation smoothly. This is especially important in the kitchen. You don't need to be discriminating about clearing the counters. Go ahead and throw everything out to save time.
3. Think ahead about what you might wear so you don't spend too much time (anything over 3 seconds falls into this category) having to figure out and find all components to your outfit.
4. In the morning, turn on the light when getting dressed so that you do not wear blue socks with your black pants.
5. When digging through the trash to retrieve the Fifth place ribbon your seven year old won in a race to stop her from hyperventilating after breakfast lest she vomit, remove your employer's badge if it is dangling in the trash from your neck so as to not be covered with old mac and cheese. Leave it on the counter as you leave for work so you can make more friends asking random people in the hospital to let you into all the places you need access. They will know you belong there with your blue socks.
6. To build character, leave the lunches you made on the kitchen counter. This also is a sneaky way to work in the appropriate amount of exercise into your busy day since you will have to run back to get the lunches from the bus stop.
7. Smile, nod, wave, and pretend you can't hear when the bus driver is yelling for the one millionth time that you are waiting for the bus on the wrong side of the street and you really should let your children wake up a bit while running for their lives avoiding cars on the road before they hit the classroom.
8. Preschool drop off : no talking, no eye contact. Quick kiss and you are out of there so they don't notice the socks.
9. Drive to work safely. Enjoy coffee in the car. Do not try to clean a coffee spill on a navy blue coat with a white tissue.
10. Arrive at work. Be sure you use an entrance that is not your usual entrance to make new friends, get exercise, and avoid embarrassment.
Have a great next day everyone!